


Keep Leading and I'll Follow You

by Jaeger Gipsy Danger (Carleen)



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Fallout 4 Adventure, Fallout 4 M/M, Fallout 4 Romance, Fallout Sole Survivor, Fallout The Commonwealth, M/M, MacReady - Freeform, Male Slash, Sole Survivor, The Commonwealth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2018-08-27 03:55:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8386252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carleen/pseuds/Jaeger%20Gipsy%20Danger
Summary: David insisted RJ stay in Sanctuary to watch after their business interests and look after the settlements. RJ disagrees because that's not part of the deal. He spent most of his life alone, he's not about to let David face Nuka-World by himself. He's not very good at asking for help, but as the days & weeks go by with no word from David, RJ is forced to ask for help. Help comes from an unexpected source and the outcome changes things in ways no one could predict.





	1. Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prologue

* * *

“In all chaos, there is a cosmos, in all disorders a secret order.” —Carl Jung

* * *

Outside the bunker thunder boomed shaking decades of dust from the concrete walls and lightning storm sent tendrils of green light around the metal shutters. The anxiety in the room ratcheted until her fear overwhelmed her and she fell back on the narrow bed. The scent of blood and sweat shimmered on the humid air of the closed room, and the press of too many people stole the breath from her lungs. She wanted to order them to open a window. Opened her mouth to say so, then fell back to the pillows. They weren't even looking at her. Once they would have jumped to obey her, but not today.  
  
She also knew their excited chatter had nothing to do with her. They weren’t interested in her fears. Her trials and pain were her own, and she knew that too. Fear battled with her struggles against the restraints and the pain that seemed to stretch her bones. The young woman pulled the stale air deeply into her lungs reminding herself that it was her duty to show courage while she fulfilled her husband’s dream of a boy to carry on the family name. She should be happy. No reason not to rejoice at the successful conclusion of her life’s work.  
  
_Smile. Make people happy. Give your husband an heir._  
  
The pains were coming faster now. When another contraction forced a gasp. The doctor peered between her legs and nodded to the assembly. They reached for her, and she could see their dirty fingernails when they dragged her legs open. No one noticed when the last pretense of modesty ended when the thin blanket covering her slipped to the floor. She lay naked and sweating on a thin mattress. Her face is drawn with the strange new gauntness of prolonged suffering. Time no longer mattered to the young woman struggling to deliver her child. Only her coppery brown hair, flung in a crumpled mass about her head seemed alive. The agony came again and overrode her growing fear that she might die. That her child might not survive never occurred to her. She was about to give her husband's hoped-for heir.  
  
A powerful, overwhelming wave of contraction pulled a scream from her. Delicate tissue tore, the hands clutched at her, gouging her skin with their dirt-encrusted fingers. She fought them, but they ignored her pleas. She couldn’t catch her breath. She was suffocating. The doctor shouted something, but she was past hearing. Pain. Only pain. She felt herself slipping away, and that was fine. If she could sleep for a while...Just a little while. A sip of water and a breath of air would buoy her. And maybe, if her husband were here, he might hold her hand. He would make them open a window. He would hold the cup while she drank. He would help her be brave and tell her how proud he was of her. Gone. All of those cherished dreams were gone, crushed under her husband's growing frustration at her inability to carry a child to term. The young woman closed her eyes, surrendered herself to the chaos and let herself slip away.

Her too-thin body rose off the bed and she screamed when the baby told her he had other ideas and signaled her to action. The need to push overrode her need to give in or fight the sea of expectant faces. The edges of her vision narrowed to the lined face of her doctor. She felt his hands pawing at her, fumbling...she'd never trusted him. A doctor should show compassion, but she'd never seen that from him. Never a smile or a word of encouragement. Too much riding on the outcome of her pregnancy. She closed her eyes and turned her face from the faces. Beyond the pain, the doctor's sweat-soaked frown or the heat of her own blood between her legs soaking beneath her hips, the voices faded away until only the sound of her heart counted the beats of remaining time on Earth.

  
The chatter of excited voices startled her awake a baby’s cry brought her around. Her thin arms reached toward the sound. The young woman's voice, thin and flat scarcely above a whisper. “Is it a boy? May I see my baby?”

The doctor glanced over his shoulder. “A fine baby boy. Good work, Jessica. Jonathan will be so proud. There's a promotion in this for him.”  
  
“Please let me hold my baby. Please.” But no one listened to her cries. The crowd followed the doctor out the door. The excited chatter quieted, and in a few seconds, she was alone. Shouting at them wouldn't change things. She’d done her duty, and her usefulness was at an end. She shivered as the sweat cooled on her flesh. Although she tried to close her legs, they wouldn't obey as if they no longer belonged to her. The tears came again. Useless tears that would change nothing.  
  
Once Jonathan had loved her. Showered her with gifts and treated her like a lover. As the years passed and no child resulted from his many demanding coupling his anger grew, and he spent less time with her. It was all her fault, of course. The burden was hers to bear, and she accepted it. Ten months ago he entered her room drunk on moonshine, shouting and blaming her for his inability to produce an heir. She watched him empty the bottle and toss it against the stone walls. The bottle shattered and she watched the stain of brown liquid and glass slip down the wall as he ripped the blankets away. He tore her gown apart and pinned her arms, she stared at the paper label "Bobrov's Best Moonshine."  
  
No reason to fight him. It wouldn't do any good, so Jessie closed her eyes and waited for it to be over. He couldn’t really hurt her. Whatever he did to her body would heal. The pain of his betrayal ebbed months ago after the steady parade of his whores ceased to affect her. She smiled, played hostess and gone inside her mind, to the safe place was there was always enough to eat. A place where her children laughed and played at her feet. A husband who loved her as they watched their family grown.  
  
When he finished with her, he pulled away in disgust. “Bitch.”

He fumbled with his clothes and left. When the door slammed, she jumped from the bed and cleaned herself scrubbing the mess of her husband’s spend from her body. Jessie stripped the sheets from the bed, pulled a clean gown from her meager collection of clothes, lay back the bare mattress and cried herself to sleep.  
  
Tonight Jessie tried to rise from the same filthy bed. If they didn't allow her to see her child—she would go to him. She was still Jonathan Maxson’s wife. They couldn’t keep her from her child. Jessie tugged a clean dress over her belly and headed toward the door. She reached for the handle just as a fresh wave of pain drove her to her knees. What was wrong? The pain came again she dragged herself back to the bed. Rhythmic pain grinds down her spine. Jessie slid up the mattress and pushed her back against the wall. Groaning like an animal, she spread her legs and watched a glistening head emerge from her body. Her fear dissolved when she reached down and helped the child to be born. The tiny infant slid into her hands. Another boy? She cleaned his face and gently cleared his mouth with a finger. The baby opened his eyes and sneezed. Wide blue eyes blinked to focus, and when he found his mother’s face, he grinned waiving his thin arms.

“Hello, baby.” Jessie wrapped the infant in a worn blanket. Satisfaction bloomed in her body buoying her from the pain and fear. She opened her dress and offered a breast to the child. He latched onto the nipple and sucked greedily. Jessie let herself fall into the baby’s blue eyes. He’s so beautiful, she thought with a warm flush of pride. This baby needed her. She was his mother and could provide for his needs. She had full breasts and enough to love to keep him safe and warm.

The light brown hair on the child’s head dried into soft curls. She stroked his skin and hair marveling at the fragile beauty of her son. Her world narrowed down to the sound of her son’s suckling. She fell into his eyes and knew a deep satisfaction watching her baby suckle at her breast. A strange euphoria claimed her. She went into it, inhaled her baby’s scent and fell in love.

Her son fussed, and she shook herself awake. She must stay awake for her baby. Exhaustion dragged at her seducing her into closing her eyes, instructing her to slid down on the bed. Jessica went with it and turned on her side so her son could keep nursing. Floating in the warmth of new love and acceptance, she never noticed the blood continuing to pool under her hips.

Jessie curled around his tiny body, wound her fingers through his curls and whispered. “I'll name you myself, little one. No one will tell me how to raise you. You're mine." She decided to call him after her after her father. A grand name in a time when most folks hand only a first name. A name that would tell the world he would do great things. And she would never fail to mention how proud she was of him. Her son would carry the name of her beloved father and she would love him as her father had loved her. 

Outside the storm quieted and sleep overcame her. In the morning things would be clearer. Tomorrow. Until then they both needed rest.  When she fell back, the nipple jerked from the baby’s mouth. Whimpering in fear at the sudden loss of the gentle hand and voice, he waved his arms searching for something that could never be his again. He was hungry and cold and alone and in his confusion he began to cry.

 

 


	2. Lead Me On

* * *

"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then." Alice. _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_ by Lewis Carroll (1865)

* * *

A spring storm churned to life outside the ramshackle building where RJ and David decided to take cover for the night. For now, they are warm and dry. But that won't last long once the rain starts. Mindful of his partner's dislike at being wet and cold, David pulled RJ toward him. The chilled humid air seeped around the broken walls, pushed along by the heralding winds. RJ curled himself against David and sighed contentedly.

"RJ? We should get going. If we can make Diamond City before the storm hits, we can save time and stay dry."

The clouds blocked the morning light, but RJ knew instinctively the time. He's excellent at judging time and distance because that's how you survived out here. But damn if he knows where he is right now. Located somewhere between The Castle and fuck-if-he-knows. He thought he knew every inch of the Commonwealth. But this latest mission led them away from the city and a damn site farther than he cared to be.

"What's the hurry?" He asked with his mouth scraping over David's three-day-old beard.

David deliberately stopped RJ's hand from drifting down his body. The shiver RJ's teeth invoked was entirely beyond his control, but there wasn't time for this...or time to indulge RJ in his seemingly endless need for reassurance.

"RJ?"

RJ shook his hand free of David's and used it to squeeze the muscular chest under his cheek.

"You're a tease and you'll pay for that. Now, get up and let's get moving. You'll have plenty of time to suck my cock once I get back from Nuka World."

"You're such a romantic," MacCready said, wincing at David's choice of words. Once in a while in the throws of great sex it was fine, but out of the blue and first thing in the morning? Not so much. An alarm bell went off in MacCready's head. What had David just said? RJ sat up. "What did you mean,  _when you_  get back from Nuka-World?"

David rolled his eyes and crossed his arms behind his head. "RJ, we talked about this. It's settled."

Robert Joseph MacCready muttered a curse and tossed the tattered sheet from his legs. A second curse bounced him off the narrow bed, where he grabbed a pair of army fatigues from a nearby crate and yanked them over his lean hips. One minute he's listening to David snore and planning an inventive way to say good morning, now he's mad as hell. The rage churns and grows right along with that storm. He doesn't like being left behind. David needed him.

The man remaining in the bed silently watched MacCready dress. Experience taught him it was better to give RJ the opportunity to vent before attempting to reason with him. In the space of time between rolling away from their sleepy embrace and pulling on his pants, he'd watched RJ's mood shift from sleepy passion to anger. This particular disagreement and there was no way around it, came with consequences and fallout.

"Don't screw with me. What happened to you lead, and I'll follow?" RJ emphasized his words by kicking a nearby enamel bucket. It clanged against the wood frame shack and rolled to a stop by the door.

"RJ. Leave it alone. I need you here," he murmured trying and failing to placate the angry merc. "Take my power armor if you want and go to the Castle, It's safe there."

"Are you kidding? I don't need safe. I don't need your power armor. I need you. No. The hell with you. I go where I please, isn't that what you're doing? What the happened to the deal we made?"

"Life happened."

RJ cleared the top of a littered table. "Sounds like one of those sayings that I read from your time.  _Life happens_.  _Take life as it comes_. Y _ou only have one life._  If the stories we've heard are half as bad, then you need someone. You need me at your back."

"I'll be fine, RJ. Come back to bed. Please?"

Butterflies or death claws or whatever they were flooded RJ's stomach. The handsome, courageous and damnably stubborn man watching him had walked into this fucked up world two hundred years late. Marched in, swallowed his grief and dug right in. That he chose RJ to walk this world by his side humbled him. That he'd found love with David made him happier than he could remember. He loved Lucy, of course. But David was a sexy mixture of passion and strength that he couldn't resist. Lately, David had revealed a cruel and often selfish streak that RJ hadn't known existed. Life was brutal and violent in the Commonwealth. But he knew that as long as they stayed together, everything would be alright.

RJ threw his hands in the air. "Get out of bed. I can't fight with you while you're laying there naked and…never mind. Just get up!"

The man in the bed raised an eyebrow, "I am up. That's why I want you to come back to bed."

"David, this won't be solved with sex, and I'm not backing down. What happened to 'let's get going?'"

Swinging his legs off the bed, David reached for the merc and sunk his nails into the back of RJ's neck. Pulling RJ forward until their forehead's touched, he said, "I know. But I can't risk losing us both. We don't know what's going on out there."

RJ pulled away, his anger flaring. "You're very careless with your own life. Do you ever think about those of us who live for you? The ones who count on you, look up to you and rely on your guidance."

"I never asked for any of this, RJ."

"That's a fucking cop-out, and you know it." RJ's anger turned to a lump in his throat and trembling hands when he realized David placed him in the 'any of this' category. The words that lived in the corner of his heart where nothing good ever happened to Robert Joseph MacCready poured out before he could stop them. "Everyone knows your tragic story, home, wife, kid. You never expected to wind up in bed with a man either. A man with bad teeth and so many axes to grind some days he doesn't know how to take a breath."

David tried to place his hands on the RJ's shoulders, but he shrugged him away. "RJ, stop. Going to Nuka World alone is one thing. You're over-reacting…"

"…I'll just get out of your way. 'Cause I'm sure as fuck not gonna watch you kill yourself." RJ laughed, and David winced at the hollow sound. "It'll be worse than that, won't it? I'll never know if you're dead or alive. Or find your body." RJ stuffed his feet into boots and shrugged on his duster. Overreacting? No that's not it. No. This was gut-boiling fear. David proved over and over that he could survive whatever the Commonwealth threw his way. He'd survived too much of his own brand of terror and more loss than any three people. So much loss... "Wait. That's it, isn't it?" RJ dropped on the bed and scrubbed his hand through his hair.

"What? RJ, I'll be back soon. I thought we understood each other. There's so much here that needs watching over. You're the only one I trust."

"You want to die!" RJ shouted loud enough to push David back a pace. "You've talked yourself into some bullshit fairy story where if you die you'll be with Nora again. Know what? Never mind. I was alone for more years than I can count. But let me say this one more time, 'cause I don't want to say it to a headstone or your mangled body. I love you, David and I'm here, with you...right here. Remember that when you head off into the sunset to play out your romantic death scene."

"RJ wait."David swallowed hard and moved to stop him. The door rocked on its rotted leather hinges when RJ fled the small wooden house. David blinked hot tears away as he watched RJ march down the road in the general direction of Goodneighbor. He knew RJ would go straight to the Third Rail. When he returned that's where he'd find him. David dressed, gathered his gear and secured his weapons. Then he stepped into his power armor and headed into the storm.


	3. That Was the Deal

 

* * *

"Alice: How long is forever?

White Rabbit: Sometimes, just one second."

―Lewis Carroll,  _Alice in Wonderland_

* * *

Staggering through a thunderstorm raindrops pelting him like buckshot Robert Joseph MacCready swore at the weather and the rainwater burning his eyes. Rain always turned the Commonwealth into a fragrant morass of Mutant shit and rotten meat. He'd run out of curse words about four blocks ago and was about to start making up some of his own when he finally stopped in the alley outside of Goodneighbor.

Damn the rain and damn the filthy mud sucking at his feet. The entrance was directly in front of him. If anyone knew where the gate was, he did. It should be right in front of him. RJ blinked at the sodden wood fence. Why are there three gates? Last time he was here with David…No, he wasn't thinking about David right now. In fact, he wasn't thinking about him again. Ever. RJ wiped the rain off his face and pulled his foot out of a pile of rank and wet muck.

Mostly he was pissed off at himself for so stupidly falling for an arrogant bastard like David. Wait, he forgot selfish. Yeah, arrogant, greedy, bastard.

 _Fucking_ , mungo.  _Fucking_  vault dweller.

Above his head lightning split the sky. A roll of thunder throbbed straight up his feet and into his head making it ache. The last time he was here with David, they'd walked up to the entrance of Goodneighbor arm in arm while David described in vivid detail what he planned to do with him when they got to the top floor of his new house. Something about this crazy looking chair he bought that looked more like a Raider's throne. He and David had to wait a month before they could find the time to meet here for a long weekend. A weekend? He wasn't sure what that meant, but that's what David had called it.

RJ scrubbed an arm across his face and squinted at the gates. Tie him to the throne. That's what he'd said. David's teasing got him so stirred up he could barely walk, but dammit there were never three gates. He'd been here plenty of times. His left foot caught on something, and he swayed arms windmilling. He managed to grab the edge of the fence only to fall again when the rotten wood magically opened. No, not magic. MacCready peered through the rain. Fuck it. It must be magic because three doors shimmered in the pelting rain.

"Goddammit!"

Then a voice and a hand on his arm lifted him from the ground. "Hey, MacCready. Heard you swearing," the guard chuckled. "Everyone heard you swearing. Uh, you don't look so good."

He shook the guard off and headed for the lights. He knew his way around Goodneighbor. He didn't need David to explain anything to him. He didn't need anyone, and he wasn't afraid to be alone. Not anymore. After twenty-four hours of walking, RJ made it a few more feet before collapsing in front of KL-E-O's store. The assaultron got to him first. Daisy ran out to help the robot get MacCready to his feet.

"Come on sweetie," she trilled. "Let mommy take care of you."

Between the two of them, they carried a babbling MacCready inside and up the stairs to Daisy's bed.

"Daisy your fingers work better than mind help me unlace these boots."

It didn't take long for them to strip the merc. Daisy produced a bucket of water and a dried bar of soap. Daisy scrubbed while the robot stripped off the remainder of his sodden clothes. They shared a glance over MacCready's pale nude body.

"Oh, my. Would you look at that? I guess the rumors are true."

"You guess?" Daisy glanced from MacCready to Kleo. "He's got no use for the fairer sex. That's another rumor that's true."

"Told me he was married once and had a son. Shame, though."

Daisy snorted and tucked a blanket around MacCready's too-thin frame.

"Shame? I haven't had sex in two centuries…wait, two hundred, twelve years and ten months. And you're a robot so you can't."

Kleo's head turned so quickly the servos in her neck squealed in protest.

"I am a fully functional Assaultron. Sadly, my lovers don't survive long enough to brag about the experience." The assaultron gave the robot equivalent of a sigh. "Such fragile creatures and they wear out so quickly."

Daisy shook her head, "And now, I've officially heard everything. Call me if he gets worse."

"I'll watch him, Daisy. See what I've got in the way of Stimpaks and then you get some rest. I'll wake you when he wakes." Kleo posted herself at the end of the bed.

Outside the sounds of Goodneighbor finally quieted when MacCready stopped shivering and fell asleep. Time passed, and finally, dawn sent a few weak rays into Goodneighbor. Kleo almost reacted with an intruder alert when MacCready threw himself into a sitting position. "David? Where is he?"

"We don't know, sugar," she said slowly turning down the heat of her lasers before laying a comforting pair of pincers on MacCready's shoulder. "He wasn't with you. You two fight? I got what you need to finish it, baby."

"No…no." MacCready slapped her metal hands away. "How long have I been out?"

"Twelve hours. Daisy and I are watching over you. A couple of Stimpaks stopped your fever from rising, but you need to rest. Those circles under your eyes are deeper than a bad bruise. So what's going on, RJ?"

RJ fell back on the narrow bed. "He went to Nuka-World…insisted on going alone. So yeah, we fought."

"Sorry to hear that, RJ. You sure he's the right person for you?"

RJ's eyes widened at the sight of her spinning hands and dropped obediently back to the mattress. "What is that supposed to mean?" RJ shot back and immediately flopped back on the straw pillow. That hurt and he had to close his eyes over the rhythmic pounding inside his head.

Kleo covered him back up, "Simmer down, honey. I only meant to say... Well, never you mind what I intended to say. Daisy's on her way, and she'll sit with you for the rest of the day. Now sleep."

~o0o~

The first night alone caught him by surprise. He hadn't expected to miss RJ. The stupid jokes, the insecurities, and the man's blind courage. David tossed another Brahmin pat on the fire and rolled himself in an old army blanket. The night sounds amplified, and it took him a minute before he realized he was indeed alone and RJ wouldn't magically appear from the shadows and lay down beside him. Not completely alone. Dogmeat whimpered and found a spot to curl up. David rolled over and gathered the dog up in his arms. He gave up a long time ago trying to figure out how he wound up in a sexual relationship with a man. He loved his wife. _He loved her._ From that love, they created a son. What does RJ give him? It wasn't just the sex. It was the rock-solid loyalty and devotion. David gave up trying to sleep and rolled over on his back to watch the moon travel across the night sky. Dogmeat grumbled at the change of position and flopped back down in protest.

It happened in small steps. First, it was trust. RJ hadn't trusted anyone in a long time. Therefore he distrusted the feelings. Confidence allowed him to reveal small parts of himself that allowed David to understand what drove the man. As time went by and they walked across the Commonwealth together, that tentative trust proved a sure thing. Underlined by RJ walking into his arms after a tearful thank you for helping him find the serum for his son Duncan. There in the shadowed and silent laboratory of Med Tech, covered in ghoul filth, David accepted RJ's sudden embrace.

When his grief over losing Shaun surfaced, and David began to tremble, RJ held on tighter spreading his fingers over David's back. 

"We'll find your boy," he murmured against his neck. In those simple words, David found a strength he needed. This wasn't the same as comforting Nora, which he would have done without question. This was a man with wiry strength holding him in an embrace that required nothing of him except to allow himself time to let go of some of the horrors. RJ kept David's head pressed against his shoulder while David shivered through the emotional storm.

'I've got you,' he said, and David knew it was a truth held out innocently for him to grab and cling to at times like this when everything was just too fucking much. In RJ's arms, he allowed himself to weep. In his day, men didn't cry. A soldier didn't grieve over the tragic death of his squad mates. A drink and a quick handshake, but never this. Never this bulwark against the raging storm of the Commonwealth. David pulled RJ against his body until they stood with legs and feet intertwined, arms and hands gripping, pulling and bodies arching. David moved his hand down RJ's spine and stepped forward. His leg bisected RJ's. RJ gasped and tried to pull away.

"Sorry. Didn't mean..." With the weight of RJ's desire rested on his thigh. David's body responded so quickly all he could do was push RJ against the lab windows and hold him there arousal to arousal against the glass.

If you asked him, he would probably claim that his libido died the moment he watched Nora murdered and his son taken away. In that time of acceptance, it was RJ who held the key. RJ devouring his lips with a searing kiss. RJ unbuckling David's leather armor, while his hat and coat landed on the floor. RJ reaching in to wrap his fingers around him, calloused hands pulling, stroking and lighting a fire that sent sparks along his spine.

How it became about the violence he couldn't say. Hard, sharp and hungry they came at each other and took what they need. Fighting their way through a nest of Raiders, with little or no armor, RJ blasted his way through, cutting them down one by one until he chest heaving he let a wall hold him up. David would often follow staying twenty steps behind RJ to watch his back. It took only a glance at the bulge in RJ's pants to create a sexual need so intense he often dropped to his knees uncaring about what soaked through his pants.

RJ learned to take what David gave him, so when David RJ grabbed his hair and forced his cock into his mouth, he quickly learned not to choke. He took the gift willingly. Afterward, David pulled RJ from his knees, lowered his pants and let the merc take him. There was no let about it. David demanded, and RJ gave. They were exacting and occasionally brutal with each other, but it was what they were. The sex became a counterpoint to the violence. A bittersweet reminder they were still alive and sex a reward for the intensity of their lives. It wasn't loved. They had no right to use such words. David curled on his side and tried to push thoughts of Robert Joseph MacCready away. A sharp ache of desire kept him from resting. 

 _I miss you, RJ_.

After a sleepless night in the open, David traveled west. When the lights of Hangman's Alley beckoned, he entered to purchase a beer and a bed. The beer went down quick and smooth, so he ordered another. It wasn't until the third beer that he noticed no one had offered to buy him a drink. The lights in the small settlement dimmed, and no one asked him a question or inquired about RJ or Danse, or made a smart ass crack about sharing Cait or Piper. The night sounds of the Commonwealth closed in, and a strange loneliness crept in with the humid chill of the night.

David glanced around, except for the bartender dozing in the corner he was alone. Even his rented bed sat in a corner hidden from view. Exhausted and more than a little drunk David fell fully clothed to the bed. And for the second night in a row, he found no rest.

All around him the settlers whispered.

"Did you see him?"

"He's here."

"What does he want with us?"

"Someone needs to ask him a question. Give him something to solve, or he'll get suspicious."

"No! I tell you, leave him alone, and he'll leave us alone."

"We don't need him anymore."

"That's right. He'll be gone by morning."

"Big shot vault dweller."

"Yeah. Sure he helped us. We've got our own ways now."

"I heard he lives inside that Vault 88, got himself a fancy room for him and his current partner."

"You mean that shaggy merc named MacCready?"

"That's the one. If it ain't the merc, then it's that giant from the Brotherhood, or Cait or Piper."

"Do you think he has sex with all of them...?"

"...At the same time!"

David squeezed his eyes closed at the round of nervous laughter.

"Ain't one of them Commonwealth folk."

"And we stick to our own."

"Yeah."

~o0o~

David dressed quickly in the predawn light, filled his canteen and headed away Hangman's Alley without speaking to the residents. Their conversations from the night before dragged at his heart. They didn’t need him anymore. That should fill him with pride. Instead, he felt more alone than when he first stepped out of the vault. What did it mean that he was the leader of the Minutemen? Or his commision in the Brotherhood of Steel. What did it mean? In the beginning, the BOS gave him a place to belong and Danse had become a friend. It hadn't taken long to realize that Elder Maxson, although his troops idolized him, was a madman. 

His companions had moved on and created their own lives. Mostly it was his selfish behavior that alienated them one by one. Preston all but vanished inside the Castle. Cait, for reasons he still didn't understand, had volunteered to work with Lucas as one of his bodyguards. David had watched them together, listening to Lucas' shy humor as he complimented Cait. She could make him laugh (and blush, David suspected) And now, he's lost MacCready, too. 

Those thoughts swirled in David's head tormenting him under the noon sun when he climbed the final rise toward Nuka-World. In the distance, it shimmered over the blasted land like a siren call of adventure and wealth. How many people in this time knew it for the illusion it was? David checked his weapons and tossed back a swallow of purified water from his canteen. Illusions. This world was an illusion. The things of his world didn't matter anymore. The things he'd been taught were important were nonexistent here. Love a forgotten word left in a burnt textbook that most people lacked the skills to read or understand.

There was life or death, and no in-between.

The click and clatter of robots reached him fifty yards from the entrance. David pulled his rifle and wrapped his fingers around the stock and forearm. "RJ? Let's flank that entrance... _Shit._ " The whistle of laser fire hit the ground between his feet igniting the dead grass into a bonfire. David jumped backward and dove behind a collection of benches.

Deep inside the entrance, a mechanical voice called out, "Scanner detecting sentient life. Alert level elevated. Intruder alert. Intruder Alert!"

David backed himself into the dense brush and checked his weapon.

A second one answered the first, "Permiter movement detected. Weapons hot!"

_Shit._


	4. The Open Road and a Loaded Weapon

* * *

"And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." F. Scott Fitzgerald, _The Great Gatsby_

* * *

 

MacCready drifted reluctantly toward wakefulness, a frown and discomfort deepening every time the blanket slipped away. This was a helluva lot better than sleeping on a ratty sleeping bag under the stars. Besides, he’d been ill, and with all Kleo and Daisy’s spoiling, he obviously intended to take all the time he needed to recover. But every time he pulled the blanket over his head someone pulled it away. Maybe they didn't understand who they were dealing with? He yanked the blanket back over his head and curled on his side.

“Go away,” RJ rumbled putting as much threat into his voice as possible. “I've killed men for just a drink. Don't want to make me add you to my list.”

“I assure you, The Brotherhood of Steel also has your name on a list. Several, in fact. I suggest you get on your feet civilian!”

There was no mistaking that voice. MacCready opened one eye. The familiar face scowling down at him made his heart take an odd flutter. Hair combed to perfection, power armor clean and dent-free, the Paladin glared down at him. MacCready doubted that hair ever disobeyed orders by falling over the Paladin's eyes. Might make the man look younger or less severe. MacCready smothered a grin. Might take more than an errant strand of hair to loosen him up.

“Danse? What are you doing here?”

Danse tossed MacCready’s coat and hat on the bed, “Intel reports indicate Knight David traveled to Nuka World alone. Elder Maxson ordered me to investigate.”

MacCready pushed himself up and swung his legs over the bed. “And that has what to do with me? You guys are friends, right? Thought you’d of figured that much out about him by now. He has his own ideas. Look, I'm pissed that he left me behind, but you can't tell him where to go.”

“As a matter of fact, I can. David is a Brotherhood Knight under my command. My orders are to coordinate with you and plan his rescue. He is too valuable to lose. In spite of your inappropriate relationship with Knight David you are the best lead we have.”

“Hey, metal man. Celibacy isn't in fashion anymore. Isn't healthy.”

Unexpectedly flustered, Danse spoke without thinking, “My personal life is not up for discussion.”

MacCready laughed and tossed the blanket away. “I knew it. We _are_ talking about your personal life.”

Danse folded his arms over his chest and pretended to ignore MacCready's insolence and the casual nudity of the lean and muscled young man. He wouldn’t admit this to anyone, he barely allowed himself to think about it at all. The truth was Danse found the man a challenge. The merc was never serious and that was bad enough. He didn’t count on armor or muscle. Instead, he put all his faith in a pair sharp eyes and a rusty old sniper rifle. Danse inspected the weapon set carelessly against the wall. Make that a rusty _and_ dirty sniper rifle. How MacCready survived was beyond his ability to understand. And why did Knight David rely on the merc?

“Why did you allow Knight David travel alone? What were you thinking?” The Paladin demanded and retrieved MacCready’s rifle. “David is a symbol for the Minutemen and the Brotherhood of Steel. A role model...”

“Save it.” MacCready interrupted. “First off, I am not his keeper or his babysitter. Second, you are not my boss.” RJ shrugged into his duster, grabbed his hat and rifle. “Ready?”

The thought of MacCready's many foibles lifted the corners of his mouth. “Is that all you wear?”

“What?" RJ shrugged. "Clean underwear, clean shirt and I scrubbed the ghoul goo off my boots yesterday. Whadda ya want?”

“I suspect that has more to do with David’s influence than your intentions.” Danse shook his head and indicated for RJ to take the lead. “I suggest you take point so I can keep an eye on you. Hopefully, you won’t run at the first sign of danger, or get shot to pieces because you refuse to wear armor.”

“First, of all. I can hold my own, anytime, anywhere.”

“I’ve heard.”

“Wait.” RJ stopped and glanced over his shoulder at the Paladin. "Are you flirting with me? Naw, that can't be. No, you’re jealous. I see how you look at him.”

“Knight David is under my command. I am responsible for his training and his well-being. He is a remarkable man, I’ll admit. Shall we?” Danse took a step toward the exit attempting to push the merc along.

MacCready blew a kiss to Kleo and Daisy before he opened the door to exit Goodneighbor. Behind him, he heard Danse’s heavy footsteps and a quiet, “And so are you.”

They traveled in silence each lost in thoughts they couldn’t define. They allowed themselves a small campfire that night and when they’d settled by the fire’s warmth it was MacCready who spoke first.

“Danse. He’s fine. You’ve seen him in action. It’s as if he was born to live in this time. In this world. He tries not to take sides, but that can’t last forever. He’s already in conflict with Brotherhood dogma. Guess I don’t have to tell you that. Anyway, you know he respects the hell out of you. Right?”

Danse silently handed MacCready a skewer stacked with roasted brahmin, tatos, and mutfruit. With his eyes on the flames, he murmured, “I am well aware of Knight David’s philanthropic tendencies. He must make his own decisions based on what is best for him and reunite with his son. I am grateful for his friendship.”

Silence ruled again while they enjoyed their simple meal. Under the guise of eating RJ kept his sniper’s eyes on his companion. Had Danse actually called him remarkable? Everything Danse did, he did with economy. He never wasted ammo, words or actions. MacCready felt a blush rise to his cheeks. He was the opposite of David. Philanthropic my skinny ass. Danse always puts others before himself. Always. While David never did. If he did something for the settlers he got something in return, whether it was food shipments from their harvests destined for the airport or a promise to support the Minutemen.

“This is delicious. David always said you were a great cook.”

Danse’s eyes darted away from the unexpected compliment. “MacCready,” Danse paused and opened them each another Stout. “I don’t hold your relationship with David against you...or him. Knowing David has opened my mind. I no longer believe every word of Elder Maxson’s is true. I...envy you. I’ve been alone so long...Never mind. I’ll take the first watch. Get some sleep.”

Danse stumbled outside the metal door of the abandoned bunker. That was stupid of him to reveal personal information. He shifted uncomfortably for the moment ignoring the ache in his gut, and the flesh pressed painfully against his power armor. His pulse throbbed sending a wave of need through his body. Danse forced his attention to the dappled shadows of evening. He checked his weapons, ran a diagnostic on his armor. The rustle of the birds quieted as night descended over the Commonwealth. but the need held him in a vice. He rarely allowed himself the release of his hand. Too many things to do, recruits to train, reports to write and missions to run. Visions of David and RJ sharing affections, the intimacies the sex. With is eyes on the phaser rifle laying so casually in the dirt. Dance's backed himself against a tree and released himself. The cold air chilled the sensitive flesh Danse cupped his balls, warming himself, stroking, pulling. He let his head fall back against the tree.

“MacCready...” slipped from his lips in a long sigh.

An arm slipped inside his flight suit and around his waist.

“Let me help.” MacCready reached for him and watched the Paladin’s cock twitch into his hand. “Hell, yes.” RJ wrapped his long supple fingers around Danse to the sound of his groan, keening through clenched teeth.

“You’re beautiful. So...” MacCready never got the chance to finish his sentence before he landed on his ass. By the time he blinked his eyes into focus, Danse stood over him completely clothed with his hands white-knuckled into fists.

“You interfere were you are not welcome, merc.” Danse hissed the word like it was poison on his tongue.

Heart pounding like thunder from an electrical storm, his body hard and poised for the release that would never come MacCready climbed to his feet with his hand's palm up. Probably not the time to point out the fact he’d clearly heard Danse say his name.

Chests heaving they faced each other across the shadowed clearing. Danse wasn’t finished with him. “Fidelity isn’t in your vocabulary. Obviously.”

“You are one mixed up son-of-a-bitch, Paladin Danse. You know it? Fidelity? Really? While you accuse me of cheating or violating your precious BOS dick allow me to provide you a list of Knight David’s conquests. Your precious David never goes without someone to keep him warm at night. There’s Magnolia from the Third Rail, Deacon, Cait and once I caught him with Teagan bent over one of the worktables directly over a fat man missile launcher. Symbolism or overcompensation? I couldn’t decide.” MacCready poked his finger into Danse’s chest. “I bet you have this romantic idea he was faithful to Nora. Well, he wasn’t. I’ll leave you to your misery, Paladin.” 

Without a word, the Paladin headed into the bunker. MacCready buried his hands in his pockets and head down he walked the perimeter of the bunker until dawn sent its first light across the landscape. His mind in turmoil he pushed open the door to the sight of Danse cleaning his sniper rifle. "You okay, Danse?" RJ wisely decided to remain quiet following the look he imaged Danse reserved for misbehaving recruits.

 


End file.
